This isn’t going to be some hokey blog post about a gimmick or diet. This post is an attempt to explain to others how things we think we can’t change or have tried mercilessly to control are actually much less complicated than we thought. This is a story of letting go of the constructs of what life is ‘supposed’ to be in order to allow us to attain the life we were meant to live.
I’ve been a nail biter my whole life. My mom always used to yell at me and say, “You have such nice long fingers, if only you stopped biting your nails!” There are many reasons people bite their nails; stress, boredom, anxiety, or all three. I’d say my reasons were a combination of those things in the beginning and as I got older it was just a habit.
Growing up I was active and never had major body issues but I always felt a sense of “I could be healthier. It wouldn’t hurt to lose some weight”. I am a firm believer that health and wellness are more than the numbers on a scale and are the sum of our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual states.
In February of this year I decided to take a chance and pursue a dream of mine since I was seven. I first visited New York City on a bus trip to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular with my Mom and Grandmom in the fall of 1997. I can remember getting off the bus and feeling this crazy wave of energy pulse through me.
At seven, I immediately tapped into the electric waves of New York City and a seed was planted. In a very matter of fact manner, I told my mom that I would move there one day. That declaration and feeling stayed with me throughout the next sixteen years of subsequent visits to the city, graduating high school, college, and traveling.
How does this all tie into my habit breaking and weight loss? Let me explain. When I moved up here in February something started to happen. It wasn’t exactly one specific day I decided I was done with my nails or anything like that. It was a slow but steady progression of living the life I was meant to live a little more each day. Before I decided to give New York a try, I sought other opportunities with hopes that they were the answer to my professional, personal, and physical happiness.
After five months up here, trying to literally and figuratively push my way through the crowds of people I encountered in order to make my dream of working and living up here a reality, I have discovered an amazing truth.
I have come to realize that living your dreams DOES NOT mean giving up everything and losing yourself. Living your dreams mean you are gaining yourself and finding yourself completely! Because I decided to stop forcing myself to be someone and do something I thought was the “right thing” and started focusing on more meaningful experiences and pursuits from within, everything else has fallen into place. My hunger for success and existing fully in life has overcome my hunger for excess food and experiences that I don’t need. Losing weight and breaking my nail biting habit have been fringe benefits of living the life I was meant to live.
I constantly make it a priority to balance my work life, personal time, nutrition, and exercise because all of these areas need to work together in harmony. Isolating one is as useful as only stabilizing one peg of a four legged a chair. If the other three aren’t secure, the chair will be off balance.
Let me clarify that this process has been filled with trials, trepidations, and tribulations. Life is full of those three T’s. The feeling of being alive, the people I’ve met, and the creative waves of energy I have felt have outweighed the three T’s ten fold.
My take on all of this; Let go of what you have (mentally, physically, emotional) in order to make space to receive what you need. I wouldn’t have arrived at the place I’m at today if I had held onto the fears and doubts that slipped into my mind from time to time. This path of jumping to a new city isn’t the answer for everyone, but the notion of taking a risk and doing something you’ve never done will surely give you something you’ve never gotten before.